the journey

im not having a very good day.  last night was supposed to be a lot of fun but it was kind of a bumwa.  we went out to my favorite bar in khon kaen to celebrate halloween and it started out really nice but then i just felt kind of dissapointed.  i think sometimes i get a little too dreamy about different ideas or people or places and then i put those dreams (that arent necessarily realities) up on a pedestal and obsess about them even after ive realized ive been fooled. maybe by myself?
anyways we went to the bar and i think every other american who isnt involved with the study abroad program i work with was also there.  it seems odd because this bar isnt in the city at all and is pretty far out and not that easy to get to.  its a really great bar though and i used to go there when i was a student but they closed it to do some renovations and they just opened it back up a few weeks ago.  theres lots of fun art and theres always bands playing- usually ska or reggae- but the energy they bring is so refreshing that i will take what i can get, even ska. so anyways last night this guy i always see around campus and smile at was there.  i was pretty excited to meet and talk with him.  apparently he has lived in thailand for 4 years teaching english, 2 of which has been in khon kaen.  the music was loud so we went outside to talk and by that i mean we went outside so that he could talk and i could listen to him talk. for about 30 minutes. we walked back in the bar and he commented on how he just told me his whole life story but he didnt know anything about me and how that must mean im a really good listener and how being a good listener means your really good at conversations. right. awesome. what about him? i mean honestly i feel like this shit happens to me so many times when i am talking to men. its like i am invisible and it makes me want to scream.  i like being a good listener and i genuinely enjoy hearing about people- their stories and their experiences- but what does it say about a person when they can go for a whole 30 minute conversation and not ask once, "what about you?"  all i have to say is eww, gross.
so i talked to a few other people and was equally dissapointed by all but one.  am i really that judgemental? is there something wrong with me? or, is it wrong to want (expect?) something more from people?

i was kind of on fire last night and i also got into an argument with my room mate.  there has been some tension there for awhile and ive been racking my brain trying to think of how to make it better. i will admit that i can be quite snappy with her at times but i just can figure out why. sometimes i feel like she is really nit-picky and has to bring up every little annoyance or thing that bothers her and i guess i think its counterproductive.  i dont bring up every little thing that bothers or annoys me because as it turns out THEY DONT NORMALLY ACTUALLY MATTER, and why bring things up if they dont matter. i feel like i leave all of our arguments/disagreements feeling like the bad person and im not sure why that is.  the students are figuring out how to work as a group but so are we.  i know we will talk about it work it out.  i think i just needed to get my feelings out and i dont feel like there are many other places to do that.
i miss my everyone terribly. sometimes some of this feels so far away from everyone i care about that its not even worth reaching out to anoyone because it would take more time than its worth to explain all of it (the context) so i just dont bother. i dont think i realized any of this until right this second but its actually pretty hard.  im lucky i have miles, josh, and sarah because they really are my family here- but sometimes i crave my other family (all of you) too.

sometimes im a real roller coaster of everything. am i volatile? or am i more stable than that? im not sure sometimes.  and actually even if i am volatile im not going to apologize for it.  i like seeing things (most things) through an emotional lens because thats how i know i am really experiencing it.  that i am still alive.
maybe this seems alarming but recently ive been feeling like some people thing it is bad, or even a weakness of mine.  that when im up, im really up and can bring others up, but when i am down i have the ability to bring others down.  i guess some of this has come up recently.  at the end of unit 2 i was in a pretty bad place, a dark place.  i felt so burnt out on the students. i had been working with them and trying to organize them for orientation, unit 1, and unit 2- so basically 2 months straight and i was about to have a meltdown.  unit 2 really put me over the edge because it was right in the middle of day 45- day 60, which is statistically known as the point in which groups fall apart. and they did.  they were homesick, and they hated the program- and just a few peoples negativity spread through out the whole group.  and it spread to me too.  i heard all those non stop complaints and i felt like  punching bag.  i actually cried a lot.  i think i would have had a full blown freak out except i had a really awesome day where i re-read my intern guide book.  it kind of saved me.  even on page one they talked about how this is a really hard job, and how in the middle of the semester when everything seems to be falling apart, how important it is to step back and look at the bigger picture, and remember your personal purpose and goals for coming here.
i guess im pretty empathetic and most of the time my mood is largely dependent on the student groups mood.  and no matter what when i am working with them i put my feelings aside (unless it would help move them by sharing) and i get my job done. and i do it well.  but when i come back into my office i talk about my feelings and where i am at with the other interns because we are supposed to have a safe space where we can share those things.  one of them said that maybe when i am down it rubs off on him.  im pretty upset about this and i feel pretty silenced.  the only way for me to remain sane sometimes is by sharing my feelings and i dont want people to make me feel bad about that.

so anyways things arent as bad as i am making them sound.  it probably wasnt the best idea to update this on one of my few bad days.  the truth is i wake up everyday excited to go to work and i love what i am doing here more then anything i have ever done- even though it is also the most challenging thing as well.

there are some pretty exciting things going on around here- one is the possible formation of a southeast asian human rights youth network and another is like my dream project which just kinda fell into my lap.  so ive already talked about how last years students wrote human rights reports with a bunch of the communities and some of the students wanted to continue looking at issues from a hr perspective- specifically an economic social and cultural rights (ESCR) perspective when they returned to the united states and so they started working with a community in kentucky that has been affected by mountain top removal.  they built trust and closer relationships with community members and with kentuckians for the commonwealth (KFTC- the org that works with the communities) and just finished a draft of a human rights report on a community in floyd county, kentucky, citing the rights with in the ESCR framework that were violated.  i was one of the first people to visit one of the communities when this project was still in the dreaming phase and so its really cool to see it develop into this really awesome and thoughtful report.  once they finish the final draft i will post a copy on here. it might seem silly to do ESCR/human rights stuff in the united states because the united states hasnt singed on to the international covenant on economic social and cultural rights but i think that just talking about human rights or talking about problems in terms of your human rights being violated is really powerful. it has the capability to organize and bring people together to fight, so i think it can work even back home.
anyways there are so many parallels between the communities in kentucky and the community here in thailand that has been affected by the gold mine.  some of the students visited the gold mine community recently for a collaborative community consultation.  in short, the community consultations were in 3 communities: pak mun, rasi salai, and na nong bong.  the students visited the communites and got updates about where they were right now in terms of the their fights, what their next steps were, and how could student work together with villagers and communities to support them.  we are hoping some collaborative, responsive, and well thought out final projects emerge from these meetings.  sometimes students come up with pretty cooky final projects that arent very responsive or what communities actually need, but once they get it in their head it is hard to get them to see that it might not be the best idea, so we are starting those conversations earlier.  anyways the students visited na nong bong and came back all fired up and wanted to write an article damning the mine, but they cant actually do that because there was no environmental impact assessments done in these areas before they built the mine so now there isnt an easy or clear way to directly blame the mine for all the problems villagers are experiencing even thought DUH it is because of the mine. the students wanted to write an article indirectly blaming the mine by citing other international examples of cases in which the mine was blamed.  they thought maybe that was the case in kentucky and wanted to pick a representative to talk with one of the former students who wrote the hr report in kentucky.  i set up the phone call and met with the student to make goals and set up a plan for the call.  it turns out kentucky hasnt been able to make the direct link to the mine either, but we started thinking about how it would be really interesting for students to talk to some of KFTCs organizers about how they are getting people involved so that students can share that with community members in na nong bong when they go back next week.  the former student, mariela talked to one of the head organizers about it and he agreed, but he also thought it would be interesting to have a telephone conversation between na nong bong community members and floyd co. community members about what is going on in their communities and what they are doing to fight, and having it broadcasted at appalshops radio station (http://appalshop.org/).  i got really excited about this and i talked to my boss, the director of the program and he got really excited about this also, and we talked about trying to get NPR involved and we even started to dream big about what it would mean to have a series of conversations like this between communities here in thailand that are fighting and parallel communities in the united states.  i have to make this happen.  working for NPR would maybe be my dream job so it would be really cool to make some connections there and (probably very loosely) work with them on a project.  THIS IS SO EXCITING!  anyways these are all pretty rough ideas/dreams but i just wanted to share them with you.

it is the students 4 day break right now and we are heading down to bangkok tonight.  one of my friends who i worked with on the landfill photo project is there and so we are going to get together.  also, my co-worker miles is going to help me learn how to network by setting up some dinners with some human rights people in bangkok to talk about this southeast asian human rights youth network that we are hoping to have a big BIG meeting/workshop thing for in april or may.

i think that is everything for me.  PLEASE tell me what you think about anything and everything.

i love you always always always,
shayne

you should check this out:

www.youtube.com/watch

some of the students made it.

the students are required to come up with 3 newsletters this semester.  here is a copy of their first one:

http://docs.google.com/fileview?id=0By_TMint_q_SNTVjYTYxODEtZjFiZC00NzA2LThiZGEtMjE0MzQ5NDQxYmRj&hl=en

what do you think?

there are so many things to say. im not even sure where to start. sometimes i go to update this thing and just stare at the screen. it feels overwhelming because everything is moving so fast. like right now- i dont even know where to start...

we finished orientation on september 14th and although the students complained every chance they got (seriously) we got the students to evaluate our parts of orientation, and our facilitation both individually and as a team.  the evaluation was pretty good and it seems like they mostly liked it- or at least got a lot out of our orientation activities-- and even more it seems like we met our goals for where we wanted the student group to be at when orientation ended.

we just finished unit 1 which was mostly focused on agriculture/food issues.  we figured out that only 2 of us interns really need to be working with the student group at any given time- any more of us and we might just bombard/dominate them.  there are 4 units this semester, and only 2 of us work with the unit facilitators for that unit and go on the unit trip. in addition, there is always one of us who goes on the next unit trip to pass on information.  the 2 of us that dont go on the unit stay in khon kaen and work on putting together the reading packet for the next unit, do other things on our ever growing to do list, and have some personal days. i am doing unit 1 and 2.  im feeling good, but starting to feel a little burnt out on constantly facilitating and working with the student group. they really do keep me on my toes, and work me hard.

to give a little background info: every student gets to work on facilitation skills and is either a unit facilitator for one of the units or a process facilitator.  there are only 5 process faciltators from the group, it is a semester long job, and the process facilitator is mostly concerned with the groups process- how they are working with one another. the process facilitators push the group to address problems when they come up and push them forward.  the unit facilitators facilitate the entire unit and work on pushing the group in that particular unit.  each unit facilitator group writes a pass on about their process, tips, and advice and passes it on to the next group.  the idea is that through those pass ons the facilitators are learning from/building off of each others experiences and growing and therefore the units are getting better and better.  

i am pushing myself in new ways every day.  ive been thinking a lot about my strengths and weaknesses and really working at building my strengths and fixing my weaknesses.  ive really never been into criticism- even constructive criticism, i kind of accept my weaknesses as "oh thats just how i am" but thats so silly because you never learn or grow.  its nice because we are pushing the students but we are also pushing one another.  we evaluate everything we do and talk about the positives, negatives, and then change the negatives into things we can change for next time.  and we are also honest and direct and address problems that come up with in our group as soon as they come up.  ive never done anything like this befoe and its definitely not easy but i really do feel great about everything i am doing here.

i visited the landfill the other day and they really arent in a good place right now.  the community is kind of falling apart and they are having the basically start all over again.  this is happening with a lot of the communities we work with.  with the economy so bad, movements are just falling apart. in pak mun, a community thats been fighting for 20 years against a dam that has destroyed their livelihoods, culture, and the environment, villagers are being offered money from EGAT (the electricity generating authority of thailand) and many are taking it.  theyve been fighting for so long with so few wins that many of them have given up.  and its similar in the landfill, i mean no one is getting bribed or anything but everything they created has fallen apart.  they have to work 24-7 just to be able to feed their kids.  there is no time to go to meetings or organize.  its pretty sad.  im not sure what they will do.  there are scavengers in the city who collect recyclables and there are scavengers on the trash trucks who collect recyclables, so hardly any recyclables actually make it to the landfill. while this may be good for the environment, its not good for this community.  they have to work non stop just to get a little.  its almost a matter of survival now and i really am worried about them.  the municipality wont claim any responsibility for their problems because they moved to the landfill on their own accord.  while that is true, it is also true that the landfill community has saved the municipality a ton of baht through all the space they have created by taking out recyclables- theyve extended the life of the landfill so far by 8 years. 

i care a whole lot about all the communities we work with, but the landfill has a real special place in my heart. its been on my mind a lot lately.

on a happier note, i just had a much needed 2 day break in nong khai.  nong khai is the border town between thailand and laos, and miles, sarah, josh and i went up to renew our visas and ended up staying the night. it was perfect. we sat at a floating restaraunt on the mekong river  and watched the annual long boat races with laos just across the river.  it made me think about watching the boat races at buckroe beach with dad.

general updates:
i'm 24 now.  i had a good birthday. i was surprised with cake by both my co-workers and by the students. i celebrated by doing karaoke with some friends and co-workers. i sang islands in the stream, please mr. postman, and raindrops keep falling on my head (one of my favorites).
ive been driving the motorcycle a lot more and i feel pretty comfortable on it.
its been raining for over 24 hours.

in just a few days i am going to see this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naga_fireballs
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,391567,00.html
and i really am so SO excited!

next we are going to bangkok with some of the slum communities from khon kaen for world habitat day.  if you are interested, you can participate in world habitat day in washington dc.  for more information visit: http://worldhabitatdaynews.com/


what do you think about all this?  what do you think about the health care reform?  im hungry for your thoughts and ideas.

its true that i am busy, but im never too busy to miss you. i think about you everyday.

always,
shayne

some pictures

that time they thought i had swine flu





i failed the written test the first day but i came back the next day and passed! succcess!

it is 3am and i am still at work.
on a good note: the program is paying for us to get massages tomorrow. score.

there are so many things i want to say! we have been incredibly busy the past few days. many 12 and 14 hour work days but i am feeling excited about what we are doing so i still feel energized.

the contemplative learning retreat was really incredible.  it was more challenging and eye opening than i thought it would be.

it was facilitated by a man named ajaan pracha.  he has done these trainings all over the world.  he had a very strong but gentle presense and you couldnt help but have respect for him.  all of the interns, the intern coordinator, and most of staff attended.  it was at the this organic farm a little over an hour away that lets different NGOs/groups meet there.  it was really beautiful.

our goals for the retreat were to better understand ourselves and deepen our relationships with one another.  i think we definitely succeeded.  it really helped to have staff there- i understand them in different ways and feel more comfortable around them.  i think we all have so much to offer and can learn a great deal from one another.

we worked on deepening relationships and building trust all week and at the end we had a quaker style meeting where we shared the worst thing that has ever happened to us/our biggest crises and how we overcame it.  there were some pretty intense stories shared and i felt really honored that folks felt comfortable and safe enough to share them.  its one thing to see someone the same way youve always seen them, but its something completely different to see them with out any walls up- to see them vulnerable.  you see them as people- that love and care and hurt and feel pain just like the rest of us. it means a lot to me to see that side of someone.

our days at the retreat were pretty full (like most days).  we started the day with meditation at 6:30 am, followed by breakfast, and our morning session.  our morning discussions were normally discussion based or small activities. our aftenoon activities were a lot more intense.  for example we did this one activity where all 10 of us had to stand on a cloth together.  ajaan pracha made the cloth smaller and smaller until some of us were standing on eachothers feet and/or balancing on one foot.  the peice of cloth was pretty small at this point and he told us to get back on it and flip it over.  if someone touched outside of the cloth you had to start over.  it took us a long time (maybe 3 hours) but we actually did it!

the next day we did this crazy activity where there was a line of string about 3.5 feet off the ground with another string tied parallel about 1 foot above it, and there were pieces of string tied between the two creating spaces of various sizes.  we all started on one side and had to pass each one of us through on of the holes to the other side.  the rules were that there was another string tied at the bottom of the floor and you couldnt touch it or you had to start over.  also, as you were being passed through the space no part of your body could touch the string or you had to start over.  i there the first person was really difficult to get through because there was no one else on the other side to help.  i went second and that was also difficult because there was only one person to help me.  ive never really been picked up and laid down and passed through a hole and it was really quite an experience.  it took a good amount of tries to get me through and eventually i had to tape down my chest because it was getting in the way. we taped shorts and sleeves and anything that got in the way.  the last two people were also extremely difficult to get through.  im not sure how to describe how we did it but it felt so good when we finished.  the most interesting thing i noticed was that it was easier if you didnt try and help as you were being passed through.  at first i was trying to help but in the end i realized i had to just trust them and close my eyes.

the following day we came in to find the floor lined with thumbtacks and some bowls.  ajaan pracha told us to take some time to practice walking through.  if you were careful and took it slow you could find small spaces for your feet.  after we felt  a little more comfortable we were paired up with someone out of the group who we didnt know that well.  each person had to be blindfolded and guided back and forth by their partner.  if you hit a bowl you had to start over.  your partner could either get you across verbally- which meant you couldnt touch them at all, or they could guide you across using their bodies.  we tried to do it verbally at first but my partner didnt have very good balance and it was really dificult to only be able to use words.  i took him across by allowing him to put his hands on my back for support and balance as i picked up one of his legs and placed it on an open space.  i made sure he didnt step on any tacks but i stepped on a lot.  it was like i only cared about him and forgot about myself.  we almost finished 3 times but i hit a bowl with my hand or leg each time.   when we reflected i realized that only being concerned with him was what ended up screwing us- it was about both of us getting across.  we had to work together to finish.

and the last day we did a trust fall from a chair sitting on top of a table.  this ended up being the hardest thing for me to do.  i thought id be fine but when i got up there i just totally freaked.  it took me over 10 times of counting to 3 and a long break in between before i could actually do it.  i almost started crying at one point because i just felt so frustrated. i really believed they would catch me but i just couldnt let go and fall backwards.  i kept thinking about zach and feeling really upset.  i ended up having someone stand up there with me and hold onto my hands while i leaned back and then they let me go when i counted to 3.  that might technically be cheating but i feel totally okay about it.

after every activity we reflected.  we talked about how we felt, what we observed, and our strengths and weaknesses in the activity.  one of the biggest things we noticed was that initially a lot of these activities seemed to require a decent amount of physical strength or a technique but in the end what they required most was trust and good communication.

on the last day we made a list of all the things we learned and we realized the list looked a lot like what we want the students to walk away from orientation with:
we built trust
we deeped our relationships with one another
we created a safe space where we felt comfortable sharing our experiences, thoughts, and ideas
we understood ourselves better and therefore better understand ourselves in relation to the group
and we had taken ownership over our self growth

interns (or program facilitators) plan and facilitate a number of activities for the students during orientation.  for many years orientations have remained by and large the same.  normally there are many organized discussions and activities  that addressed things like privilege and oppression and other social justice related issues.  before, during, and after the interns would basically tell the students they were a group and they should identify as a group and work together as a group and blah blah blah. 

after the retreat, realizing the affect it had on our intern and staff relationships we decided to use this same model.  the idea is that instead of telling the student group to be a group we just organize and facilitate activities that allow them to experience being a group.   this is an alternative educatin study abroad program that uses an experiential learning model and so it makes sense that our orientation activities would be experiental also.
(we are kinda in a bubble here- did all that make sense? what do you make of all this?)

hopefully the students will come to some of the same realizations as we did but if not we are going to be reflecting after every activity and hopefully if we are good facilitators and ask the right questions we can get the students to really contemplate these activities and draw connections.

it adds a lot more work because these activities have never been done  before so there are no pass-ons from former interns but its exciting to create something new and evaluate after to see if they worked.

the thing i am most worried about is that students will complain the whole time and compare it to summer camp activies.  but i really believe in this and so im hoping if we bring good energy and facilitate the activities and reflections well then it will work out well.  i will let you know how it goes.

we just finished putting together the orientation reading packet and the program guide and tomorrow we will begin planning sessions.  there are 4 of us and every activity/reflection has 2 of us facilitating.  its going to be a little bit of a nightmare planning the logistics of each activity (i mean more 12 hour work days) but having already done them will help us in planning.  and we have created goals for each of the activities so as long as we keep those in mind when coming up with reflection questions i think we will be alright.

we are leaving for bangkok early on the 21st and orientation starts bright and early on the 22nd! ah!

also! im going to get my motorcyle lisence next week before we leave for bangkok  so wish me luck!!

love always,
shayne

my medical problems continue.

if you ever ride on a motorcycle make sure to get on or off on the left hand side, not the right.  no one ever told me that and i burnt my leg really bad on the muffler.  i had a blister almost the size of a baseball on the inside of my leg.  the blister was the biggest i have ever seen! when i shook my leg it actually jiggled! so sick.

the strategy meeting we had the other day went pretty well. all 4 of the communities have had human rights reports written on them and all 4 are interested in the possibility of suing the government via the constitutional court.  thailand just updated their constitution in 2007 (or 2550 in buddhist years!) and its got a lot of good/useable stuff in it but no one has actually tested it.  so far its basically been a useless document mostly for show.  anyways all of the communities need some legal consultation before they can move forward so right now we are trying to contact some of the prominent humman rights lawyers in bangkok and set up a meeting at our office so the communities and the lawyers can talk and plan out next steps. this meeting will hopefully take place sometime in september so there is enough time for community members to take back the information to their communities and decide what they want to do before our next strategy meeting in october.  the program has never had these strategy meetings before but basically last year students wrote human rights reports both the fall and spring semester and it was a pretty exhausting process and i think the staff is pretty burnt out on them and doesnt necessarily want to do more.  beyond that, right now the reports (in both thai and english) are just sitting in the office.  we need to figure out how communities can actually use them.

there has been some talk of doing a preemptive report this year.  all of the 8 reports done last year were written with communities who have already been affected by development projects- the dam/mine has been built, the farmers have already been coerced into usng chemicals, herbicides, and pesticdes, the river has already been dredged etc.  but we also work with a lot of communities who havent yet been affected and are still fighting against proposed projects. for example, tam mui is a community along the mekong river that is fighting against a dam being built, or in udan thani there is the community who has been fighting against a potash mine being built for over 10 years.  i think it would be really interesting to do a preemptive report and would be really beneficial to these communities is these projects went through- kind of a "i told you so".

yesterday was a really good day.  we woke up early and caught a bus to udon thani.  on the bus a monk who was sitting next to me asked if he could take a picture of me with his camera phone.  WHERE AM I?  why does the monk have a camera phone?  who do i always feel like an animal at the zoo?  no matter how hard you try there is nothing you can do to keep from stickong ut like a sore thumb.  i closed me eyes for a bit and when i opened them he showed me a picture of his girlfriend.  i thought it was odd that the only exchanges we had were "can i take your picture?  and "this is my girlfriend".  how do you respond to that?!

anyways we got to udon thani and took a tuk tuk to the village.  this was the community of farmers that i mentioned above who have been fighting against the potash mine being built they are really well organized and totally rad.  as i mentioned before potash is a form of potassium and usually used in chemical fertilizers.  after hearing that the community went completly organic.

yesterday the conservation club (the anti-mine part of the community) had a big rice transplanting party.  there was close to 200 people there- mostly villagers but also people who are in solidarity with the community.  they had this party because growing rice is an such an important part of the communitys culture and history and if the mine is built the rice fields will be destroyed.

we picked rice sprouts- which looks easier than it is.  you are crouched over and slightly squating the whole time in the sun and there are big water spiders all over the place that you have to watch out for.  the most important part is to make sure to get the root when pulling the sprout.  i moved a lot slower than all the villagers but i just didnt want to do a crap job and it took me a little longer .  once you got a good bundle together you would lay it down and someone would come by and tie it together with thin strands of what i think was bamboo.  with close to 20 people it didnt take us too long to finish and afterwards we all ate lunch together.  after lunch the fields had been puddled and leveled and we began to actually transplant the rice.  i think i enjoyed this a little more- mostly because i felt like i was a little betterat it.  the trick with both is pulling and planting is to go from the side rather than straight up/down.  the hard part about planting is it is difficult to move around becaus your feet get stuck in the mud.

i saw my host mom from 2 years ago and we talked for a little bit about her daughter.  everyone seemed to be in such a good mood.  ive never transplanted rice- ive only harvested rice, which they will do in about 3 months.  i was so tired after.  i realized i'm not really accustomed to hard work- or any physical labor at all for that matter.

i was a little sun burnt and super dirty when i got home but i really felt great.  all the vitamin d from being outside and in the sun made me feel really great.  i took the most refreshing bucket shower and then just laid on one of our hammocks and listened to music.

lastnight i went out to drink and dance with some friends.  the bar scene is weird. i dont know if i have ever told you this  but you drink ice with your beer and johnny walker whiskey is super popular here.  its pretty common to get a bottle of whiskey for your whole table and just split it.  i enjoy that.

today is my first whole day and night off - yes thats right i have been here just a few days short of a month and THIS IS MY FIRST DAY OFF- anyways i keep worrying i am going to get a phone call telling me to come into work.

im meeting my friend siri downtown soon and we are going to have lunch at asoke- a buddhist run vegan restaraunt named after the santi asoke movement here in thailand. then we are going to wander around the city and search for hidden treasures.  i will let you know what i find.

tomorrow i am going on a 5 day contemplative learning retreat.  contemplative learning is big in the alternative education movement here.  wikiepedia describes contemplative learning as "a philosophy of higher education that infuses learning with the experience of awareness, insight and compassion for oneself and others through the erudite academic practices of meditation and contemplative disciplines. Contemplative education seeks to integrate the best of Eastern and Western educational traditions, helping students know themselves more deeply and engage constructively with others." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contemplative_education  i heard the workshops can be pretty intense/cooky  but i think it seems interesting so im pretty excited.  i will let you know how it goes.

more soon.

your shayne

p.s.  ive been riding the motorcycle a lot more and i think i am really getting the hang of it.  i shifted up to third gear and got up to about 65 kph or 40ish mph!

p.p.s. happy almost birthday mike!

hello!

im back at work and feeling much better.  i hope the worst is behind me.

the hospital was really nice. there were 4 english speaking channels: starz movie channel, bbc world news, nat geo adventure, and one that only played tennis.  i watched A LOT of movies.  i watched becoming jane, penelope, gone baby gone, the man in the iron mask, when harry met sally, 13 going on 30, the chipmunks movies, and some of the muppets movie and the royal tennembaums.  i had a room all to myself (probably because im a foreigner and they thought i had swine flu).  they gave me an iv to keep me hydrated and they came in every 4 hours to check my blood pressure and temperature.  only one of the nurses spoke english so it was kind of frustrating because i didnt really understand what was going on or what all the pills were that they were giving me.  they also kept asking me questions and i thought my thai was okay but i had no idea what they were saying- especially not through the face masks they all wear.

so thailand has a shortage of tamiflu so they are only giving it to people in critical conditions.  i got some.  the doctor told me it was because my condition was critical (my high fever) but i think it was probably because im an american.  ive been thinking a lot about this and a lot about privilege.  to be completely honest at that moment i was okay with getting the tamiflu.  i know that maybe sounds sick and awful but i just want to be honest.  but what makes me deserve it more than anyone else?  and beyond that im still pretty much okay with getting the tamiflu.  what makes this situation any different from other situations where people take advantage of their privilege.  so what i got this job because im a man? i deserved it.  so what if i dont get pulled over because of the color of my skin?  are we really willing to give up our privilege? im not really looking for a response all though if you have one please share because ive just been thinking a lot about this.

so i know it has been awhile but i want to give an update about na nong bong (the community in loei that has been affected by a gold mine)  we originaly visited the community on the 16th.  when we got there the community leaders told us that there would be a public hearing on the 20th for villagers to vote on a new mine site. originally TKL (the mining company) held a public hearing earlier in the month but excluded 2 of the 6 communities from the vote.  the 4 communities that were allowed to participate all voted no.  TKL isnt really willing to take no for an answer so they called for a new public hearing and this time invited all 6 of the affected communities.  na nong bong community members told us theyve heard rumors of the mine paying people 1000 baht to villagers to vote yes. they wanted us to be there to document the process so we left early and returned on the 20th.

when we returned on the 20th most people were pretty stressed out.  the hearing already seemed kinda corrupt.  they had changed the time from 10am to 7pm and they had all 6 communities voting seperately.  there were rumors of TKL throwing parties with pro-mine villagers and supplying alcohol possibly in the hopes of instigating a fight.  also,  most of the leaders of the anti-mine organization People Who Conserve Their Hometowns (PWCTH) live in na nong bong,  so by holding the 6 hearings seperately there were able to isolate the leaders to one hearing.

we went to the na nong bong public hearing and it was pretty intense.  there were about 300 people there and you could actually draw a line through the crowd and one side was pro mine and the other side was anti.  there was a really really drunk guy from the pro mine side who was actually kicked out.  earlier in the day we heard some rumors that na nong bong might protest the hearing but we werent sure.

Na Nong Bong did end up protesting the public hearing and refusing to vote.  In addition to what I mentioned above there were several other screwy things about the hearing.  First it was instigated by TKL and the hearings were conducted by either TKL or villagers but not government officials.  Na Nong Bong thought it wasnt official if it wasnt initiated and executed by government officials. I think they are totally right.  And on top of all of that the community said it was bull shit to vote when TKL nor the government have addressed any of the problems created by the other two mines.

When we visited with community members they also told us that they were really worried about the tailings pool.  The tailings pool catches all the by product and waste from the mine- thus being HIGHLY toxic.  They said at 4 meters deep the sun can absorb the cyanide (I didnt know anything about this!) but that currently the pool is 10 meters deep.  The pool is located at the top of a mountain that is at the rear of the community and if the pool were to overflow it would flow down in to the creeks that flow down the mountain and into the community.

I dont want this to sound like its all bad news.  We had a really good meeting with paw saw mai- the village head man and one of the leaders of PWCTH.  We talked to him after the hearing and he reflected on where the community is at right now.  He said that since the community and students produced the human rights report last spring he has seen a lot of positive changes.  He said community members feel empowered by their rights and understand the governments role in protecting, fulfilling, and respecting them.  He said that before he had to do all the thinking and would tell the community how to act but now the community is engaged and they are thinking of ways to fight and use him to move forward.  They are taking a number of pro active steps.  I think one of the coolest things they are doing to address the loss of income due to damaged crops from the toxic water is moving towards self sufficiency.  They are currently sending the youth to an economic self sustainabilty camp where they learn about agriculture. The youth get paid to attend this camp and then implement something they learned into a project in the community.  I think its pretty great.  Typically you see the youth leaving their rural homes to go to the city to work and send money home.  I think this is rad on so many levels: its getting the youth involved and keeping them in the community, and its moving away from dependence on outside forces and concentrating on building with in the community!

I guess thats enough about my trip to na nong bong.  TKL is strong and has lots of money and I am sure they will find a way to build their new mine (that will be only 3/114 pending sites) but I think Na Nong Bong is really organized and learning more and becoming stronger every day. 

Tomorrow we have a strategy meeting with some of the communities we work with.  We will be talking with communities about where students can productively become a part of what they are doing.  For example, Rasi Salai and Pak Mun are coming.  Both of these communities have been affected by dams (one for power and one for irrigation) and both have had human right reports written.  There has been a lot of talk about next steps for the communities and the human rights reports and both of these communities are considering bringing the violations to court.  Or another example would be Lampaniang which is a community that has been affected by river dredging and is working on restoration of the river.  The goal of tomorrow is to have 3 or 4 solid options for students in the fall to plug into and work with.

In addition to working with the student group each of us interns have a community assignment. We share the community assignment with a staff member and it is our job to maintain relations with the community, get updates, and visit when we have time off.  I am working with one of the new staff members named Pang with Yasotorn.  Yasotorn is a farming community working on organic farming.  I'll let you know more as I go along.

On saturday we are going to a rice transplanting party in udon thani to a community that has been fighting against a potash mine being built for 10 years.  Potash is a form of potassium and one of the main ingredients of chemical fertilizer.

Whoa. I am burnt out on writing this email and so im pretty sure you are tired of reading it.

i'm sorry i didnt spell check or edit.

Also! If you are on skype my user name is shayneathomas.  And, if you have an account on jajah (www.jajah.com) you can call me for free or for really cheap! My phone number is 085-760-3331.

ONE MORE THING! SEND LETTERS AND PRESENTS TO:
Shayne Thomas
P.O. Box 91
Khon Kaen University
Khon Kaen 40002
Thailand!

more soon on my job description.

miss you!

love love love always always always,
shayne

hello!

sorry i have been mia. i just spent 3 days in the hospital with the flu.  they thought it was swine flu but it wasnt.  the bad news is i can still get swine flu which i am actually kind of nervous about because it seems like my body hates me.  im hoping the worst is over- i mean i havent even been here a whole month,

im working on a long update.

miss and love you all,
shayne

greetings from the land of smiles!

 whats new? are you well? how is the weather?

i am doing much better now.  my mouth seems to be almost completely healed and my fingers are healing quickly.

i guess i'll tell you a little about my life here and what i have been up to.

i live in ban nong kong or nong kong village.  everyone that lives in the village is really nice and friendly.  there is a market and a temple in walking distance.  we have a two story cement and wooden house with a tin roof.  we dont really spend  a lot of time downstairs because it is inhabitated by lots of roaches and spiders that are the size of your face, also frogs, geckos, lizards, and we've spotted one killer centipede!
i share a room and mesquoito net with my co-worker sarah.  we've heard  a lot of ghost stories about our house and we were both too scared to live in a room alone.
the roosters start at about 4am and every morning around 6:30am the village head man drives around and gives the community news with a loud speaker. 
right now it is the rainy season and the other night we had a brutal storm and the rain sounded crazy/terrifying pounding on our tin roof.  in the morning there was an awful noise which we later figured out was the sound of hundreds of frogs mating. sick.

we have a real shower and sometimes it works and other times it doesnt.  when it doesnt we just take a bucket shower.  we dont have hot water but its normally so hot outside that the cold water is only uncomfortable for a second and then feels really refreshing.  the house also just got a western style toilet, but you still have to flush it by hand (using a bucket of water to flush).

our house isnt far from the city or from where we work at the university, but it takes about 45 minutes by song taew.  the song taew is thailands form of public transportation. its basically a truck with two rows of seats in the back.  we usually leave work after the song taews stop running so we call a tuk tuk.  a tuk tuk is a small 3 wheeled taxi.  it is a tight but we are able to squeeze all 4 of us in the tuk tuk.  we have 2 motorcycles but we need to practice driving them (and getting used to driving on the left side of the road!) before we can get our license.

tomorrow we are going on our first community stay.  we are going to na nong bong which is a village located about 2 hours north in the mountains of loei province.  i've attached the human rights report that students and community members wrote last semester.  if you get a chance you should totally read it. it is really well done and a pretty good read.  i've actually never visited this community but they have been affected by a gold mine that was built in 2006. 

since the construction of the mine: the communitys access to forrest resources has been limited.  local water sources have been contaminated and farm yields have decreased, while health problems such as skin rashes, respiratory ailments, prolonged colds, and eye pain have become more prevalent.  a test in 2006 found that local water ways have been contaminated with cyanide but the government waited years to release the information and they didnt warn the villagers about not drinking/bathing/cooking with the water until 2009! they have also found unsafe amounts of arsenic, lead, cadmium, and manganese in the water.  the government supplied an insufficient amount of water to the community for a little while until they ran out of their budget.  so now people either have the money to buy outside water or they dont.  families have to choose between clean drinking water or clean bathing water.  it really is total shit.

in this community income and sustenance has always been obtained through rice farming and gathering vegetable and herbs with little to no outside sources of income or food but since 2006 rice yields have dropped by as much as two thirds.

and of course the mine wont claim any responsibility.  the government blames the cyanide on smoking and the company blames it on casava (local crop) cultivation. and because there were no preliminary water or health tests done there is no way to link it directly to the mine.  additonaly, the government has begun testing the water for heavy metals regularly but they test different spots each time so it impossible to see if the water is getting worse.

this community is really well organized and there is constantly movement with this issue.  we will be going to get some updates and see what the status is since the reports were completed at the end of april. 

last time the students went the company knew and tried to clean up the area but they dont know we are coming so it will be interesting to see how everything looks.

also the company has applied for over 100 mining licenses in this area but as of april only 6 or 7 had been approved and only 2 sites had begun mining, so we'll check on the status of the licenses also.

sorry if this is scattered.  but lets have a conversation about this! what are your thoughts?


one sad bit of news: we were supposed to visit the landfill but we are not able to because some of the community members have swine flu and they dont want to pass it on to us.  im pretty bummed because i really want to visit my family there.  i am hoping everything clears up by the time the students arrive so we can still visit the community.

i think about your pretty face all the time.  i miss your smile!

please send me emails! tell me how you spend your days! what are you reading? what are you thinking about?

your shayne

oh p.s. i shot a cross bow the other night and i hit the target!!

and p.p.s. i think my thai is coming back to me!

hello my sweet dumplings!

i've been in khon kaen for about 5 days now, and the only word i can use to describe my experience so far is epic.

about a week before i left the u.s. i started having a lot of pain in my gums by my bottom right wisdom tooth. i thought maybe some food got stuck back there and i had an infection but i didn't have insurance or time to go in to see anyone so i just called my family dentist and he called me in a prescription for an antibiotic.  everything got worse! i felt like my mouth was rejecting me!  the whole right side of my face swelled up and spread to my lymph nodes and i developed a canker sore that was slowly taking over my entire mouth.  i was in a pretty bad place my last few days in the u.s.  i was stressed about my health and crying all the time.

the journey to thailand wasnt much better.  the long plane rides and long bus ride took a lot out of me.  my mouth got so bad that i could barely open it.  i stopped eating solids and was on a yogurt only diet.  in bangkok i also got two bad infections on two of my fingers. i was feeling pretty hopeless and didnt see any light at the end of the tunnel.

on wednesday i went to the khon kaen hospital and i saw a really nice doctor who spoke pretty decent english.  he cut open and drained both of the spots on my fingers and gave me some meds for my sick canker sore.  then he took me to the dentist in the hospital.  this was a nightmare.  he took one look at my mouth and said that my wisdom tooth needed to be removed. they didnt numb me all the way and i could feel the whole thing!  it was awful! there was someone holding down my face and another holding down my body and i was literally screaming and crying.

the good news is its been a really fast recovery and i feel so much better!  i'm going to the hospital tomorrow to get my bandages removed from my hand. wish me luck.

i'm feeling a little scattered right now so i will update more soon about my full schedule! exciting things are happening!

how are you? tell me everything!

i miss you all already

love love love,
shayne

see you in 48 hours?

your shayne

things are pretty crazy right now. tomorrow is the festival and most of us are running around like chickens with our heads cut off trying to prepare. alexandra, whitney and i are trying to get our photo exhibit all ready to go for tomorrow but we still need a few more things translated. its frustrating.
all of our professors are working so hard. its weird because they work like this every semester with no time for their personal life. i feel kind of shitty because for a second i forgot that it is like this for them every semester. there is a joke around here that they nobody ever quits because they dont have any time to think about quitting. its actually not a very funny joke...

i have 5 infected bug bites. i think they are getting better bu it makes me a little nervous.

i got an email from clinton today and he told me he read this whole thing in one sitting! i love him! it made me really happy to know people are still reading this. i miss it being like a conversation where people told me what they thought about the things i was learning/seeing/thinking/writing about

2 more weeks until i am home! (can you believe it!?)

your shayne

today is kind of a big deal. it is the kings birthday and also fathers day (go figure...)
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7128105.stm

we have only 5 more days until the festival but things are going pretty good with our project. we went the other day and did 4 profiles and photo descriptions. they turned out really really good. they all picked really awesome pictures and had the best stories. i love that community so much and am going to be really sad to leave.
we transcribed  them and had them translated. we have to go back tomorrow to have one more girl pick her pictures and do her profile and photo desriptions then we have to get the photos enlarged and then we have to design the layout for the festival.

only 9 more days until the program is over! then i am going to ko chang with my friend anne and christy and on my way back to bangkok i am stopping in pattaya to hang out with my peer tutor ciri because she is working at a hotel there.

what is also exciting is another group is working with the landfill for their final project. a woman from india came to talk to the landfill community about a month ago. she works with scavengers in india and has helped them organize together and unite. she thinks khon kaen should be the pilot city from thailand to join the international waste collectors network. this group has been working with scavengers in the landfill as well as scavenger from 2 slums . they bring them together and have meetings where they figure out what they need to do to unite and be stronger. there is an international waste collectors conference in bogota columbia in march and the gorup is trying to apply for grants so they can send some representatives. it would be good if people could go to the conference because they could see what scavengers in countries all over are doing.

one more exciting  thing is me and 4 other people are working right now to create a public health and gender program here in thailand! we are figuring out courses and credits and a syllabus. our program director approached us because he said we probably know more about gender than him so we could probably do a better job. the program looks pretty cool and there is a pretty good chance that either some or all of us would be able to come back as interns when the program starts!

i love you all
shayne

some photos alexandra took from our trash art project with the kiddies:

last night was the loy krathong festival

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loy_Krathong

 it happens every year on the full moon of the 12th month (which here is usually november) people go to the lake in khon kaen and send out tons of tiny floats made out of banana leaves, flowers, and candles & incense sticks. you put your float in the water, make a wish and hope it doesnt sink.
i went and sent a tiny 10 baht float out with a wish but refused to watch it for too long because i didnt want to see it sink... if it did.

i took pictures lastnight and i went this morning at 6am to take pictures of all the trash left behind-- the lake was disgusting!
we have been talking a lot about over consumption and we are going to do a small before and after exhibit at the human rights festival. there will be a lot of kku students there because kku is co-sponsoring it so we are going to have a little blurb underneath the photos about how much trash goes just from kku to the landfill everyday. hopefully it will get people thinking...

the other night we went to a bar owned by one of my teachers and her husband. her husband is an art teacher at kku and we met with him and some of his coworkers because we wanted to see if they wanted to get some students to help out.
so today one teacher and one student came with us to the landfill where we scavenged for materials and made art all day long. the kids seemed really excited and we made 3 mobiles and 5 masks!
alexandra, whitney and i move into the landfill tomorrow to do more art and work on the photo project!

wish me luck!

always always always
shayne

i just wrote this in an email to aunt sharon and uncle brian but i think it describes my final project pretty well but i am going to copy it and put it in here:

We are starting our final projects now and I am really excited about the one I am working on.  We are working with the landfill community here in Khon Kaen.  Everyone in this community does something related to trash-- some are trash truck drivers, some work at a recyclable sorting center, and most are scavengers and go through all of the mountains of trash at the landfill to find recyclables to sell for money.  it can be a pretty dangerous/unhealthy job but the worst part is they arent recognized as a real labor force at all and they are providing a really awesome service to the city. So far they have extended the life of the current landfill by 6 years: taking out recyclables and making more room for trash!

anyways my project is doing several things. one is we are going to make art out of trash at the landfill that cant be sold for money with kids at the landfill.

the second thing is when we met with the community earlier this semester they told us that most people in Khon Kaen dont even know they exist. They said they want people to see the way they live and what they do for a living. We figured the best way to do this would buy disposable cameras and let them decide what they want people to see about their life by allowing them to take the pictures themselves. We also want to combine the pcitures they choose with profiles on each photographer.
the main point of both of these projects is to create visibility and spread awareness about the landfill community, and both the trash art and the photo exhibit will be shown at our human rights festival at the end of the semester (which over 1000 people are coming to!). also we want to organize a tour back at home and tie it into the issue of over consumption.

we are also working with a group of khon kaen university student who just wrote a human rights report about the landfill community to try and get the water tested because we are pretty sure its really bad.



we might sell the trash art decorations at the human rights festival?
we are doing a training for taking pictures, and doing pictures in 2 bunches. after they take the first batch we will get them developed and all look at them together and talk about them:  do they capture whatever it is they want people to see? can they be better? and if so,how can they be better? then they will take the second batch and we will look at all of them and make the final selections and finalize our profiles on each photographer.  our profiles will also be used to supplement the human rights reports to make them a bit more personal.

how does this sound to everyone? please share your thoughts and ideas? do you have any that can make this better?



lastnight we had a fancy thanksgiving dinner at the sofitel hotel and i had really good cheese for the first time since i have been here (the only other kind i have had has been on pizza). it was kind of weird that they took us there because it is a super fancy hotel chain in thailand that mostly caters to foreigners. plus before they built the hotel there was a lake there. but it was really tasty.


love love love love
shayne

some pictures

the national park we vacationed at


look at this crazy bug!


on the beach


the cutest little sister ever


on our hike we spotted a dusty langur (an endangered species)


my little friend in my apartment

more pictures at:
http://flickr.com/photos/21011740@N06/